"I Only Go Where I Am Invited" — Leadership Lessons from the Sidelines

There’s a mantra I live by:
“I only go where I am invited.”

At first glance, it might sound passive, even overly polite. But let’s be clear: this isn’t about waiting around for a golden ticket. It’s about discernment. It’s about presence. It's about knowing the difference between being wanted and being used.

The Wrong Jersey at the Wrong Game

Picture this.

You pull up to a stadium. You’re laced up in your cleanest pair of sneakers, head high, energy up. You know the game, the stats, the strategy—you’ve played, coached, and studied it. You walk in, thinking you’re here to add value.

But you quickly realize:
You’re wearing the wrong jersey.
They didn’t give you a playbook.
And the mic they said you’d have? Never handed to you.

Worse yet, someone points at your sneakers and jokes, “Didn’t know this was a fashion show.”

You’re not a guest. You’re a prop. A convenient seat-filler. Maybe even an accessory to their optics. But definitely not part of the game plan.

That used to be me.
On stages. In rooms. At tables. Brought in to “inspire,” to “motivate,” to “add flavor”—but not to lead, to build, or to decide.

I showed up full of purpose, only to realize the space wasn’t prepared to receive it.

So I stopped showing up uninvited.

Leadership Isn’t Sneaking In Through the Locker Room

I’m not in the business of crashing courts or begging for mic time anymore. I’ve learned that just because a stadium has seats doesn’t mean it has space for you.

True leadership isn’t about elbowing your way into the spotlight. It’s about knowing when to walk away from the stage that only wants your voice but not your vision.

Sometimes the most powerful move you can make is to decline the gig, hang up the jersey, or keep your sneakers clean for the next game—the right one.

Invitation Is Not a Gesture. It’s Alignment.

And let’s be honest—being “invited” isn’t about a fancy email or a nice intro slide.

It’s about:

• Is this space prepared for what I carry?

• Are they calling on me, or just calling me in to check a box?

• Do they want the work, or just the wow?

Because here’s the thing: I’m not here for decoration. I’m not here to perform for applause. I’m here to transform.

And when I go where I’m truly invited—spiritually, strategically, energetically—the work hits different. It lasts. It lands.

The Mic Is a Responsibility, Not a Reward

As a speaker, I’ve been handed many mics.
But I’ve learned to ask:
Is this mic being handed to me to elevate a message—or to mute a truth?

The world doesn’t need more voices just making noise. It needs voices that are welcomed—not just used—to move things forward.

I don’t chase stages anymore.
I build platforms.

I don’t beg for jerseys. I build the court.

I don’t wait for a seat. I bring my own team.

Because I only go where I am invited.
And if I’m not?
That just means the space wasn’t ready.
And I sure don’t walk into locker rooms where the team doesn’t value the game I play.

Mic dropped. Respectfully.

Final Whistle

First. "I only go where I am invited" isn’t just about them—it’s about me too.

It’s a promise to myself: I won’t dim to fit in, shrink to soothe, or perform to be perceived as “palatable.” I go where I can bring my full self—without a warning label or apology clause.

It means I trust my own value enough to be selective. I honor my own time and energy as sacred. I’m not in the business of proving. I’m in the practice of aligning.

And here’s the irony:
The more I’ve leaned into this mantra, the more doors have opened.

Second, "I only go where I am invited" is not about exclusivity. It’s about integrity.

Leadership isn’t measured by how many doors you can walk through. It’s measured by how many you choose not to because you know your worth, your work, and your why.

So here’s the question:
Are you showing up to prove something, or to align with something?
Because sometimes the biggest flex is not showing up at all.